Online Bullying

Here's a wonderful post on bullying sent to me by the author. http://www.needtoknowit.org/selfdefense/school-bullying
It contains practical how-to advice.

Ethics of Advertising

 

In a recent article of The Ethicist in the NYTimes (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/23/magazine/laptop-prop.html?ref=theethicist&_r=0) a question was raised about the ethics of laptops being positioned in front of television newscasters if they are there to convey the impression of being up-to-the-minute (but not for actual use). It’s an interesting example of artifactual communication being used to influence credibility.

            A second part of the question concerned the ethics of displaying the computer company logo. Is this advertising (product placement), the writer asked, ethical for a news show? In the answer to this question Chuck Klosterman, the ethicist, says that the display of a logo or the mention of a particular designer’s name does not constitute advertisement if there is no payment and if the person has no intention of advertising. This, it seems to me, is true from only one point of view, that of the sender. The sender—the wearer of the designer’s clothes or the laptop user—may not think advertising and so one can say from that point of view that there is no advertising. But, the receiver is being influenced; to the receiver, the network user’s computer logo is an advertisement and may well influence buying behavior. This, it also seems, is one of the reasons so many designers put their name in clear view. Isn't this a distinction worth making?

 

Speech Rehearsal

Speech Rehearsal

Often we advise students to rehearse their speeches five or six times which often seems to students to be a lot. In a recent NYTimes (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/23/magazine/jerry-seinfeld-intends-to-die-standing-up.html) article, it noted that Seinfeld (a communication major from Queens College, btw) rehearsed his five-minute set for the Tonight Show 200 times. Now, that’s a lot.

 

New Words

Words of 2012
The New York Times annually identifies new words of the year. Invariably there are several communication terms:
Dox
Eastwooding
MOOC
Nomophobia
Sway
Unskew
Dox = an abeviated form of "documents" or "to document"
Eastwooding = talking to a chair
MOOC = an acronymn for Massive Open Online Course
Nomophobia = fear of being without a cell phone
Sway = an attitude of confidence and style
Unskew = to rework data to suit particular beliefs

Talk to Connect

 

Here is a guest post written by Leah DeCesare. Leah DeCesare is a writer and blogger (www.MothersCircle.net) writing about perspectives on parenting from a mother of three, educator and doula. She is a certified birth and postpartum doula as well as childbirth educator and Certified Lactation Counselor, serving families in Rhode Island. Leah is currently conducting the Mother’s Circle Young Women’s Birth Survey open to 18-26 year olds (https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/youngwomensbirthsurvey.) She is the Co-Founder and Co-President of Doulas of Rhode Island, a past DONA International Northeast Regional Director and she volunteers with Families First RI.

 

Meta Description:

I like to talk. I talk to connect and get closer to people. Most people like to talk. Connecting is human, talking is still our most genuine way of connecting.

I like to talk. I talk to connect and get closer to people. What I’ve realized is most people like to talk - and talk a lot. People talk. A lot. Connecting is human and talking is still our most genuine way of connecting. In a world with changing personal contact, where interactions through technology reign, talking is still a precious gift to join hearts and minds with others.

Over the years, I’ve had to grin through painful comments about my talking, sometimes disguised as jokes, other times delivered more directly. Some close friends may comment endearingly but I’ve received critical, judgmental and hurtful remarks. Yet, as rude and cutting as it feels, such frank statements make me think.

I’m open-minded and I work to be a better person each day, to challenge myself to improve in myriad ways and I take the time to self reflect. In truth, I am hyper-aware of telling a story too long or of the conversation tipping in my direction. I’m ultra sensitive to when someone has asked me so many questions that it seems I’m doing all the talking so I work to redirect the conversation toward them. I notice when I’ve gotten excited and interrupted a friend’s story, but then I apologize and return to where she left off.

I not only observe how I interact, but I also witness how those around me converse. Turns out, women, in particular, talk over one another as a routine. Watch any group of girl friends together and you’ll see it’s a usual and accepted chatting style, and somehow, everyone talks and everyone’s heard. Though, it’s also not the only way women talk together.

Equally often, we share the floor, rotating around, hearing stories, nodding, commenting, asking questions, listening more. Then another person picks up and her story has our attention and focus until it’s the next person’s turn to chime in with a tale.

One particular night after someone blithely made a comment to me about how much I talk, I swallowed and forced a polite smile, and became completely silent. I sat mute, watching, surveying, listening, contemplating. Throughout the evening, I paid attention as everyone took a turn dominating the conversation, talking “too much” and going on and on.

Every single person talked and talked at some point and not one talking-person turned to include or invite in another while she was front and center. The talker talked. It’s what we do, it how we affiliate ourselves with a group, it’s how we belong and how we bridge space and grow friends.

The truth is, I do like to talk and if I’m not talking much it’s likely that I’m not engaged enough to build a relationship. But, the truth is, I also like to listen and I’m a good listener. Listening is the other half of connecting. I welcome the words from my friends, acquaintances, and even strangers in the check out line and I care about what is going on in others’ lives.

My husband teases me because no matter where I am, people open up to me and tell me intimate details of their lives. This happens so often that it’s become unremarkable when I tell him the life story of someone I crossed paths with that day. I’ve heard all about divorces from a car mechanic complete with details of clothes thrown out the window, I’ve heard about the journey to adoption waiting for the fish guy at the supermarket, I’ve learned of a woman’s struggle with cancer while sitting in a waiting room, the drugstore clerk confided that he quit drinking and I’ve heard countless birth stories from strangers and friends alike. I listen.

In social circles, I listen. I bear witness to friends’ stories, hear their pains and celebrate their triumphs. I listen with compassion and I remember. I remember to ask a friend about a procedure scheduled for their child, how their fundraiser went or how they like their new yoga class. I remember my friends’ birthdays and the anniversary of their Dad’s death. I care deeply, I express it in touch, notes, presence and, yes, talking.

I have a funny sense in my being that feels dishonest when I don’t offer details, when I’m not explaining something fully, when I don’t share totally. It’s as if I’m in a movie where two characters meet, each having information the other needs but not telling one another. I think sometimes I talk more because it feels more honest to that quirky thing in my heart.

And sometimes, I wonder if I’m perceived as talking more than others because I talk really fast (and even faster if I have any caffeine). Or maybe it’s because I initiate dialogues, or speak with energy and animation (and maybe a little loudly). I’m bold, happy, enthusiastic and so I gush and effuse.

I’m candid, unreserved and unafraid to articulate what’s in my soul. So maybe I do talk a lot, maybe I do talk more than others, but it’s who I am. It’s how I relate, it’s how I embrace, envelop, offer, share and give. If I’m talking with you, I’m giving you a piece of myself and I’m open for receiving a piece of you, too, when you talk with me.

 

Wells Fargoadvertisement about conversation:

They can be impassioned. Funny. Enlightening. Or inspiring.

They can open doors. And build relationships.

Some can even change the world.

At Wells Fargo, we believe you should never underestimate the power of a conversation.

It’s how we learn. How we grow. And how ideas spread.

It’s at the heart of everything we do.

 

 

 

 

 

Power Strategies

Strategies for Power

Here is a discussion of the communication of power which I wrote for my 50 Communication Strategies book and that I thought might be of interest to a wide variety of readers.

 

Power is the ability of one person to influence what another person thinks or does. You have power over another person to the extent that you can influence what this person thinks or what this person does. And, conversely, another person has power over you to the extent that he or she can influence what you think or do. Perhaps the most important aspect of power to recognize is that power is asymmetrical: If one person has greater power, the other person must have less. If you are stronger than another person, then this person is weaker than you. If you are richer, then the other person must be poorer. In any one area—for example, strength or financial wealth—one person has more and, inevitably and by definition, the other person has less (is weaker or poorer).  The varied types of power are identified in the & Box, Types of Power.

 

& Types of Power   Six types of power are especially important to understand: legitimate, referent, reward, coercive, expert, and information or persuasion.    §  You hold legitimate power when others believe you have a right—by virtue of your position—to influence or control others’ behaviors. For example, as an employer, judge, manager, or police officer, you’d have legitimate power by virtue of your role. §  You have referent power when others wish to be like you. Referent power holders often are attractive, have considerable prestige, and are well liked and well respected. For example, you may have referent power over a younger brother because he wants to be like you. §  You have reward power when you control the rewards that others want. Rewards may be material (money, promotion, jewelry) or social (love, friendship, respect). For example, teachers have reward power over students because they control grades, letters of recommendation, and social approval. §  You have coercive power when you have the ability to administer punishments to or remove rewards from others if they do not do as you wish. Usually, people who have reward power also have coercive power. For example, teachers may give poor grades or withhold recommendations. But be careful: Coercive power may reduce your other power bases. It can have a negative impact when used, for example, by supervisors on subordinates in business. §  You have expert power when others see you as having expertise or special knowledge. Your expert power increases when you’re perceived as being unbiased and as having nothing personally to gain from exerting this power. For example, judges have expert power in legal matters and doctors have expert power in medical matters. §  You have information power—also called “persuasion power”—when others see you as having the ability to communicate logically and persuasively. For example, researchers and scientists may acquire information power because people perceive them as informed and critical thinkers.

 

Power can increase and decrease. Although people differ greatly in the amount of power they wield at any time and in any specific area, everyone can increase their power in some ways. You can lift weights and increase your physical power. You can learn the techniques of negotiation and increase your power in group situations. You can learn the principles of communication and increase your persuasive power. Power can also be decreased. Probably the most common way to lose power is by unsuccessfully trying to control another’s behavior. For example, the person who threatens you with punishment and then fails to carry out the threat loses power. Another way to lose power is to allow others to control you; for example, to allow others to take unfair advantage of you. When you don’t confront these power tactics of others, you lose power yourself.

Power follows the principle of less interest. The more a person needs a relationship, the less power that person has in it. The less a person needs a relationship, the greater is that person’s power. In a love relationship, for example, the person who maintains greater power is the one who would find it easier to break up the relationship. The person who is unwilling (or unable) to break up has little power, precisely because he or she is dependent on the relationship and the rewards provided by the other person.

Power generates privilege. When one person has power over another person, the person with power is generally assumed to have certain privileges, many of which are communication privileges. And the greater the power difference, the greater is the license of the more powerful individual. Sometimes we’re mindful of the privilege or license that comes with power. Most often, however, we seem to operate mindlessly, with no one questioning the power structure. For example, those with power may encroach on the territory of those with little power (a supervisor can enter the cubicle of a trainee but the trainee cannot enter the office of the supervisor—at least not without being invited or before knocking). Similarly, a supervisor may touch the arm or rearrange the collar of a subordinate, but not the other way around. The general may touch the corporal, but not the other way around. The doctor may put his or her arm on a patient, but the patient would not do that to a doctor.

Here are some strategies for communicating power nonverbally. 

 

·         Avoid adaptors. Adaptors are touching movements of the self (playing with your hair or rubbing your nose), of others (removing a speck of dust from someone’s cheek), or of objects (poking holes in the Styrofoam coffee cup). Adaptors may make you appear uncomfortable and hence without power. Avoid these especially when you wish to communicate confidence and control.

 

·         Use consistent packaging. Be especially careful that your verbal and nonverbal messages don’t contradict each other. Each will weaken the other.

 

·         Use facial expressions and gestures as appropriate. These help you express your concern for the other person as well as your comfort and control of the communication situation. Smile to show approval and that you’re enjoying yourself but avoid excessive or purposeless smiling.

 

·         Select the right chairs. When sitting, select chairs you can get in and out of easily; avoid deep plush chairs that you will sink into and will have trouble getting out of.

 

·         Shake. To communicate confidence with your handshake, exert more pressure than usual and hold the grip a bit longer than normal.

 

·         Dress conservatively. Other things being equal, dress relatively conservatively if you want to influence others; conservative clothing is usually associated with power and status. Trendy and fad clothing usually communicates a lack of power and status. And, of course, expensive clothing is more powerful than inexpensive clothing.

 

·         Walk and gesture slowly and purposefully. To appear hurried is to appear as without power, as if you were rushing to meet the expectations of another person who had power over you. Avoid gestures and movements that can appear random and without purpose. This will generally signal discomfort.

 

·         Maintain eye contact. People who maintain eye contact are judged to be more at ease and less afraid to engage in meaningful interaction than those who avoid eye contact. (Be aware, however, that in some contexts, if you use excessive or protracted direct eye contact, you may be seen as exercising coercive power. When you break eye contact, direct your gaze downward; otherwise you’ll communicate a lack of interest in the other person.

 

·         Avoid vocalized pauses. Avoid the “ers” and “ahs” that frequently punctuate conversations when you’re not quite sure of what to say next.

 

·         Maintain reasonably close distances between yourself and those with whom you interact. If the distance is too far, you may be seen as fearful or uninvolved. If the distance is too close, you may be seen as pushy or overly aggressive.

 

·         Relax. A relaxed posture communicates confidence and control—qualities of power. A tense body posture can easily signal fear and discomfort—qualities of the powerless.

 

·         Vary your speech rate, volume, and pitch as appropriate to the conversation. Be careful to avoid a monotone speaking style.

 

·         Take up your space. If you crouch in the corner of a couch, for example, you’re going to appear less powerful than if you take up your allotted space. If you take up too much space, for example, spreading your legs apart and in effect taking up two spaces, you’re likely to be seen as impolite.

 

·         Still your feet. Excessive foot movement usually signals a discomfort and hence little power.

 

Here are a few verbal strategies:

 

·         Avoid hesitations. Avoid the all too common, for example, “I er want to say that ah this one is er the best, you know?” Hesitations make you sound unprepared and uncertain.

 

·         Avoid too many intensifiers. Intensifiers are fine in moderation; overused, they are likely to decrease your power. Avoid, for example, statements like these: “Really, this was the greatest; it was truly phenomenal.” Too many intensifiers make everything sound the same and don’t allow you to intensify what should be emphasized.

 

·         Avoid disqualifiers. When you disqualify yourself you detract from your credibility and hence power. Avoid, for example, statements like “I didn’t read the entire article, but . . .” or “I didn’t actually see the accident, but. . . .” Disqualifiers signal a lack of competence and a feeling of uncertainty.

 

·         Avoid tag questions. Avoid, for example, statements such as That was a great movie, wasn’t it? She’s brilliant, don’t you think? Tag questions ask for another’s agreement and therefore may signal your need for agreement and your own uncertainty.

 

·         Avoid self-critical statements. When you criticize yourself and say, for example, “I’m not very good at this” or “This is my first interview” you’re just calling attention to your lack of power. Self-critical statements signal a lack of confidence and may make public your own inadequacies.

 

·         Avoid slang and vulgar expressions. Slang and vulgarity signal low social class and hence little power.

Bullying in schools

http://www.babysittingjobs.com/blog/signs-your-child-may-be-the-victim-of-bullying-in-school/

 

Here’s an interesting article on bullying, a topic we're just beginning to introduce into our basic communication textbooks.  Odd that it's taken so long for us to include this considering that it's a communciation activity that has enormous consequences for schools, the workplace, and society in general. This little article focuses on children but the suggestions could just as easily be adapted to workplace bullying or bullying in general. According to a 2011 survey cited here, over 8 million students (12-18 years old) or 32% of all students in that age group reported being bullied in school. The signs to look for, according to this article, are:

Unexplained injuries or property damage

Signs of aversion to school

Difficulty sleeping and/or nightmares

Poor academic performance

Loss of interest in school activities

Isolation

Self-destructive behavior

Product Placement Exercise

The recent release of Skyfall and the news that Heineken spent $45 million dollars to have James Bond drink its beer makes a perfect introduction to the issue of product placement. The following is a brief discussion of product placement and an exercise I developed for the artifactual communication chapter in my nonverbal communication book—still in manuscript. I thought this might be useful to those teaching the nonverbal communication course or a unit in an introductory course.

In much the same way that we make judgments about people on the basis of the products they use (jewelry, furs, and name brands from Prada to Old Navy), we also make judgments about products on the basis of the people who use them, a tendency that has spawned huge product placement efforts by major corporations. Product placement refers simply to the placement of a product—for a fee but without any explicit advertising statements—within a scene of a movie or television show to give it a certain image. The advertiser’s hope is that you’ll identify with the actor using the product (that is, you want to be like the character, in some ways) and that you too will then also buy the product. The actor and the movie give the product an image that the advertiser assumes will help sell the product.

In the 2012 James Bond Skyfall, for example, Heineken paid $45 million to have Bond drink its beer (New York Daily News, November 9, 2012). In addition, Bond wears a Tom Ford suit and an Omega watch while Q uses a Sony Vaio—all very clear to the viewer. Another Bond film, however, holds the record for product placements; the 1997 Tomorrow Never Dies earned $100 million for its product placements. The same is true on television; the Cheesecake Factory on The Big Bang Theoryand McDonald’s on 30 Rock are good examples. Product placement is, of course, nothing new; recall James Bond’s Aston Martin in the 1964 Goldfinger and E.T. eating Reese’s Pieces in the 1982 E. T. The Extra-Terrestrial.

As you no doubt already know, product placement is occurring in television sitcoms and dramas and in feature films with ever increasing frequency. That fact that this type of advertising aims to influence you subliminally raises all sorts of serious ethical issues. Those who favor or defend product placement, such as the American Advertising Federation argue:

Product placement is a legitimate source of advertising revenue and is not deceptive. It benefits both content producers and consumers and adds verisimilitude to fictional programming. We oppose proposals that would require simultaneous “pop up” notices of every instance of product placement, believing this would make television unwatchable. We instead believe the current practice of disclosures at the end of the program works well.

Those who oppose product placement argue that it’s deceptive because viewers are not aware that it’s a paid advertisement. It is subliminal advertising—messages that somehow get communicated without mindfulness or awareness. And, despite the AAF’s statement, no one can really read the disclosures at the end of a television program, nor would anyone want to. Further, the enormous profits to be made from product placement will likely lead to its spread to news shows which will further erode fairness and objectivity.

Regardless of the possible ethical violations, product placement is likely to remain a part of movies and television; it is too lucrative a market for it to disappear any time soon.

 

Product Placement

To sensitize you to the many ways in which advertisers try to influence you below the level of conscious awareness—and in effect counteract the influence of product placement—consider this exercise on product placement, another aspect of space decoration. During the next movie you watch—there are lots more in movies than in television shows—identify any product placements you notice and fill in the remaining columns of the accompanying table. The example provided will clarify the parts of this exercise.

 

Movie: ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­__________________________________________________.  Year: _______.

 

Product	How was the product used? What’s the context?	Intended meaning
Burger King hamburger bag	Iron Man Tony Stark wants an American hamburger before anything else	Burger King is the hamburger of choice, especially when you’re dying for one

 

50 Communication Strategies

I’ve assembled (and rewrote) some of my blog posts and a variety of other brief pieces into a book that I published with iUniverse, a subsidy publisher (recently acquired by Penguin, a division of Pearson), called 50 Communication Strategies. One of the advantages of publishing a book this way was that I didn’t need an agent. Textbook authors rarely have agents; in fact, I don’t know of one textbook author who does have an agent. The other great advantage is that you don’t have to write a proposal. There are also disadvantages to doing a book this way as well. But, on balance, the procedure was relatively painless and certainly fast moving.  They even set up a website for the book—www.50communicationstrategies.com. In general, I'm very pleased with the finished product.

Self-Confidence

 

http://www.nannypro.com/blog/12-ways-to-help-your-child-gain-confidence/

Here’s a neat little list on ways to build confidence in a child, sent to me by the author, Sara Dawkins. Among the suggestions are:

• Encourage independence
• Praise the process, not the product
• Applaud safe risk taking
• Show unconditional love
• Be a self-confident role model
• Foster an “I can” attitude

With just a little tweaking this list is relevant to a wide variety of topics we talk about in interpersonal communication, e.g., self-esteem, empowerment, relationship development. Nor is the list limited in application to children—much of it (again, with a little tweaking) can be applied to the workplace and the classroom.

Gay History

 

Yesterday, TCM ran Night and Day, the biopic of Cole Porter. In it Cary Grant plays the famed songwriter/composer Cole Porter and Alexis Smith plays his loving wife. Apart from whatever merits or lack of them that this movie possessed, it’s a great example of how gay people are robbed of their history. Cole Porter was gay but this is never shown; instead you see a heterosexual male deeply in love with his wife. It’s a good example of how the media—at least in the 40’s but into the 21^stcentury as well, contributed (along with political, religious, and social institutions) to deny gay people a legitimacy, a presence, a history. 

Also yesterday, the New York Times ran an article on “Helping a Child to Come Out” (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/07/fashion/helping-a-gay-child-to-come-out.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0), perhaps an indication of how much society has progressed, perhaps an indication of how little society has changed.

            Among the interesting things pointed out in the article are these:

1.      Gay teens have higher rates of alcohol and drug abuse, depression, and suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. Helen Kahn, the director of the Family Project of the Human Rights Campaign, attributes this to the stress of being different, of being stigmatized and the problems that come with reactions from “friends” and family.

2.      Despite the attendant difficulties of coming out, one survey found that closeted gay children had an even harder time than those who did come out. Those who came out were significantly happier than those who remained in the closet.

3.      Parents need to listen to their children—often between the lines—so that they can help the child come out in his or her own time. Parents also need to show that their love is unconditional, that the home is a safe place where the child can discuss anything.

Nonverbal Communication Project

Here is exercise that I'm working on for a nonverbal book I'm doing that I thought might be useful. It contains just a few general instructions for creating a video and lots of video examples. Although most clearly directed at the nonverbal course, I thought this might also be appropriate in interpersonal and hybrid courses as well. The videos noted here might also prove useful to interject periodically throughout a course in nonverbal/interpersonal/human communication.

 

Creating a Video of Nonverbal Communication

 

An excellent experience for learning about nonverbal communication is to teach it. Consequently, a popular assignment in many nonverbal communication courses is to create a video to teach some aspect of nonverbal communication. You might then upload it to YouTube or some similar site, exchange videos with others, and critique each other’s videos.

There are numerous websites that illustrate and demonstrate the ways to go about making a video. For example, http://www.youtube.com/create offers a variety of suggestions for creating a video. And, of course, there are a variety of websites that will help you film, design, and edit your video. Just search for “video design,” “create video,” or similar terms and you’ll find the most recent videos on creating videos. These websites and their accompanying videos—as well as all the videos you’ve already watched--will provide a lot better instruction than any print description could.  

In addition to the suggestions you’ll find online, consider these as well.

1.      Keep your video short—aim for 2 minutes. This will force you to compact your ideas but still treat a single idea in some depth. 

2.      Clarify the purpose you want to achieve. Do you want to illustrate specific gestures or an interaction? Do you want to compare nonverbals in different cultures? Once you’ve formulated your purpose, you’ll be better able to select appropriate ways of creating your video.

3.      Select the appropriate means for achieving your purpose. So, for example, if you want to illustrate different gestures in different cultures, then you’ll likely need members of both cultures to demonstrate the gestures or you’ll need photos or graphics.

4.      Keep your subject limited. Don’t try to cover too much. For your first nonverbal communication video, consider focusing on one code and illustrating one aspect of that code—for example, if you want to focus on touch, then you might limit your video to, say, relationship touching. Or, if you want to focus on gestures, you might limit your video to adaptors or illustrators. The idea here is to cover a limited topic but in some depth rather than a broad topic in only general terms.

5.      If you use PowerPoint or Prezi slides, keep them simple. Viewers are not likely to read slides with too much information on them. Similarly don’t crowd the slides with visual images. Use additional slides rather than crowd them.

6.      Keep it professional. You may find it useful to add this video to your resume should you want employers to see it. Of course, if it’s on a public site, prospective employers are very likely to see it whether you want them to or not.

7.      Here is a list of nonverbal communication videos that you can use as examples of the varied types of videos you might create. It should prove useful to review some of these with the idea of your doing your own video. What are some of the pitfalls that you’d want to avoid? What are some of the clever techniques that you might want to adapt?

These videos vary widely in just about every conceivable way. Some are quite professional and sophisticated in terms of production while others are the works of beginners with little technical equipment. Some are basically informational—those produced by colleges and narrated by professors, for example—while others are promotional for books or seminars. Some are designed to sell a product and others are designed to fulfill a requirement in a communication course. Some of the videos make well-substantiated claims, the kinds of conclusions you find in your nonverbal communication textbooks and research articles. Others, however, make claims beyond what most academics would accept. For example, if you just watched the videos you’d come away with the idea that you can read a person like a book. Of course, you can’t.

I’ve tried to group these into a few categories though most of the videos vary over several nonverbal codes. The categories used here simply reflect the videos I found that I thought would be useful. Most of the videos are short—the longest is 11 minutes, 23 second and the shortest is 32 seconds. The average is probably around 4 minutes.

 

GENERAL

 

General introduction to NVC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfDWQG47pAQ

 

what is nonverbal communication? Nonverbal communication, vocal cues and facial expressions 3 min, 01 sec

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMhvtA2QvqU

 

Movie clips showing varied forms of nonverbal communication, 2.58

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfDWQG47pAQ

 

Deborah Borisoff and others on nonverbal communication—general, 3.01http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07AufHZygjs

 

Doctor-Patient nonverbal communication, 7.19 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRE7f52bS7w

 

Candidates/campaigning and body language effectiveness http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3yy5eIJW2Y&feature=related

 

Power and nonverbal communication, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS1LI_ut3fs

Interpersonal Conflict, 4min 32 sec

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joVSUPkWTGg

 

 

PERCEPTION/ATTRACTION/FIRST IMPRESSIONS

 

Perception of Beauty 1 mn, 15 sec. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAnRQncZ_uk

 

The factors that make for attraction, 11 min, 23 sec

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfizpfBwYng

 

what makes a man attractive to women?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoKA-a5vEEc

 

body language and attraction 2.25. A series of images depicting various forms of body language that communicate attraction

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E-qu2rtCgo

 

measuring beauty, 2.58

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVVroi8q0Y0

 

 

CULTURE

 

For a discussion of cultural differences in gestures. 5min, 19 sec

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRQSRed58XM&feature=related

 

The use of silence in Japan, 7.11

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyjenhfSnFU

 

Cultural dimensions, Hofstede, 2.09

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gJzRS0I7tA

 

A discussion of Hofstede’s cultural dimensions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JJnkM0h6uQ

 

Touch behavior in different cultures, 3.39

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PGCkSoy5nk

 

NVC in Greek culture http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEps2bzE0u8, 4.47

NVC in Brazilian culture, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTgPMkFWDlQ, 3.09

NVC and culture, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn3NwMtAEHs, 4.43

NVC and culture, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyPhAeZcsvY, 5.24--general

NVC and South Korean Culture, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFQFp05Twww, 4.31

NVC gestures and cultures, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM9Iu4OQXAw, 5.17

Body language in high and low context cultures, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tIUilYX56E&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PLCE91F207FC0B2098, 3.58

NVC and culture, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS1diUo42UQ, 4.24

Russian gestures, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uSw_JC_xOw, 6.26

Polish and Japanese gestures, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi6h8zktO1s, 1.41

Colombian hand gestures, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDEAPV73v4s, 1.12

Hand gestures in various cultures with subtitles identifying the varied meanings, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHSe1ogHYUw, 3.24

Maria Baltar talks about greeting rituals in different cultures, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMskROH6v6U, 7.30

Dan Fishel from the Columbia Business School talks about the American handshake, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDhXD25fmMo, 4.42

 

DECEPTION

 

NVC and Deception, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IQgpPjiV70, 4.45

Lying, spotting deception, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WFvcZnokKE, 8.15

Lying in the beginning of relationships, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcBsRbT4vLQ, 3.28

James Pennebaker on deception and words—a useful addition to most of the nonverbal stuff on deception—(discusses and shows tapes of Representative Anthony Weiner who lied and then told the truth about sending sexual photos, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc073RIC7_M, 2.33

Suggests there are 3 ways to tell if someone is lying to you, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWQtuXSnXtU, 7.22

Social behavior and etiquette—signs of lying 1 min, 59 sec. Discusses some of the popular beliefs about deception detection

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt_cvMRIGC4

Jan Hargrave talks about deception and aims to teach you how to tell what others are thinking through observing nonverbal communication. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X7fKZTmZa4&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PLD0D3AA38EE11B8D4, 9.34

 

EFFECTIVENESS IN INTERVIEWING, DATING

 

Simple word charts with voice over on first impressions (both verbal and nonverbal), offers the standard advice but very well phrased, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqiIXOpH-BA, 1.23

Staged interactions of job interviews with some good advice on nonverbal communication, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5Cy1yf9wwQ, 9.28

Suggestions for speed dating, both verbal and nonverbal, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P43aALpN1UY, 2.28

Suggestions for making a good first impression, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOGFmFRJ2xA, 1.19

Discussion of suggestions for more effective body language in dating, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKx--9CG0fY, 5.44

Interview with Barbara Roberts on face reading and especially if you can tell when someone is dangerous solely from face reading, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpgM2tbCUMQ&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PLD0D3AA38EE11B8D4, 5.47

Professor Gary Deaton talks about posture and gesture in a job interview, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bNSsfDfy2Q, 3.52

Nick Morgan talks about how speakers are evaluated by the way they stand and walk to the stage, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdttrC0xtM, 2.02

 

SPECIFIC CODES (touch, gestures, smell, etc.)

 

A short video on tracking eye movements to study consumer behavior 2 min, 44 sec

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7m3liNrvrs

 

Touch Avoidance 1. 29

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMSdfqJWPT4&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL32CB04D75ACCFCE8

 

On color communication, 1.56

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nCsVt_vilw

 

On color communication, 1.56

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nCsVt_vilw

 

Silence—puts forth examples of when silence is destructive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED008VqMDJU&feature=fvst

 

Chronemics: Polychronic v. Monocrhonic time orientations, 10.41. Show a variety of people with different time orientations

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzTDdru1GwM

 

Monochronicity v. polychronicity, 3.07

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOE4nuivNKI

 

Proxemics—the close talker from Seinfeld, .47

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgO8V6TdAKM

 

Nonverbal proxemic violations, 4.54

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pmc9JItJ0C4

 

Eye contact, 1.44

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwxtGzI2xVI

 

on the silent treatment, cartoon character talks about the problems with the silent treatment 5.53

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IwEnZPa0N8

 

Rate of speech from a sales training point of view 6.13. “Listenable rate of speech”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKABu6rXbAM

 

a humorous monotone speaker 1.16

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLQ8kEg8vfc

 

Clothing and communication, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNJ7zfMd2fw, 2.02

Clothing—do clothes make the man?, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wg7eqQ3QTYI, 3.05 with some good historical notes

Sales tips on dressing for your prospects, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feMK9Kr1yDc, 2.20

Cathrine Hatcher talks about color as communication, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUefDi65d6I, 5.48

An ad for Old Spice that illustrates the importance of smell, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgGVXhya6hk, .32