Communication Strategies: Mindfulness

Among the many communication strategies are the competencies of interpersonal communication which I thought would make a neat sub-set of strategies to post. I owe these strategies to a wide variety of researchers and theorists—I’ll mention a few tho’ I’m sure I’m omitting many: Art Bochner, Michael Hecht, Brian Spitzberg, William Cupach, James McCroskey, and Gerald Miller stand out in my mind. I include the references to research in some of these mainly to acknowledge the contributions of these theorists/researchers as well. These dozen items are taken largely from my Interpersonal Communication Book. A great skill to begin with is mindfulness which kind of underlies all the others.

Mindfulness is a state of mental awareness; in a mindful state you’re conscious of your reasons for thinking or communicating in a particular way. And, especially important in interpersonal communication, you become aware of your choices. You act with an awareness of your available choices. Its opposite, mindlessness, is a lack of conscious awareness of your thinking or communicating (Langer, 1989). To apply interpersonal skills appropriately and effectively, you need to be mindful of the unique communication situation you’re in, of your available communication options or choices, and of the reasons why one option is likely to prove better than the others (Langer, 1989; Elmes & Gemmill, 1990; Burgoon, Berger, & Waldron, 2000). You can look at this textbook and this course in interpersonal communication as means of awakening your mindfulness about the way you engage in interpersonal communication. After you complete this course and this text, you should be much more mindful about all your interpersonal interactions, which will prove beneficial in all your interpersonal interactions (Carson, Carson, Gil, & Baucom, 2004; Sagula & Rice, 2004).

Increasing Mindfulness. To increase mindfulness in general, try the following suggestions (Langer, 1989):

<        Create and recreate categories. Learn to see objects, events, and people as belonging to a wide variety of categories. Try to see, for example, your prospective romantic partner in a variety of roles——child, parent, employee, neighbor, friend, financial contributor, and so on. Avoid storing in memory an image of a person with only one specific label; if you do, you’ll find it difficult to recategorize the person later.

<        Be open to new information and points of view, even when these contradict your most firmly held stereotypes. New information forces you to reconsider what might be outmoded ways of thinking. New information can help you challenge long-held but now inappropriate beliefs and attitudes. Be willing to see your own and others’ behaviors from a variety of viewpoints, especially from the perspective of people very different from yourself.

<        Beware of relying too heavily on first impressions (Chanowitz & Langer, 1981; Langer, 1989). Treat your first impressions as tentative——as hypotheses that need further investigation. Be prepared to revise, reject, or accept these initial impressions.

In addition, consider a few suggestions specific to communication. Ask yourself these questions
(Burgoon, Berger, & Waldron, 2000):

<       Can the message be misinterpreted? What can you do to make sure it’s interpreted correctly? For example, you can paraphrase or restate the message in different ways or you can ask the person to paraphrase.

<       When there’s a continuous communication pattern——as there is in an escalating conflict in which each person brings up past relationship injustices——ask yourself if this pattern is productive and, if not, what you can do to change it. For example, you can refuse to respond in kind and thereby break the cycle.

<       Remind yourself of what you already know about a situation, recall that all communication situations are different, and ask yourself how you can best adapt your messages to this unique situation. For example, you may want to be especially positive to a friend who is depressed but not so positive to someone who betrayed a confidence.

<       Think before you act. Especially in delicate situations (for example, when expressing anger or when conveying commitment messages), it’s wise to pause and think over the situation mindfully (DeVito, 2003b). In this way you’ll stand a better chance of acting and reacting appropriately.

Richest Academics

Here's an interesting article on the richest academics--unfortunately, no communication academics--but interesting nevertheless.

Talk between people with and without hearing difficulties

Talk between people with and without hearing difficulties can often prove uncomfortable. As with people who have visual impairment, people with hearing loss differ greatly: Some are totally deaf and can hear nothing, others have some hearing loss and can hear some sounds, and still others have impaired hearing but can hear most speech. Although people with profound hearing loss can speak, their speech may appear labored and may be less clear than the speech of those with unimpaired hearing. Here are some suggestions for more effective communication between people who hear well and those who have hearing problems. These suggestions were drawn from a variety of sources: Tips for Communicating with Deaf People (Rochester Institute of Technology, National Technical Institute for the Deaf, Division of Public Affairs), http://www.his.com/~lola/deaf.html, http://www.zak.co.il/ deaf-info/old/comm_strategies.html, http://www.agbell.org/, http://www.dol.gov/odep/pubs/fact/comucate.htm, www.ndmig.com, www.mass.gov, and http://spot.pcc.edu/~rjacobs/career/communication_tips.htm.

If you have unimpaired hearing, generally:

·        Set up a comfortable context. Reduce the distance between yourself and the person with a hearing impairment. Reduce background noise. Make sure the lighting is adequate.

·        Avoid interference. Make sure the visual cues from your speech are clearly observable; face the person squarely and avoid smoking, chewing gum, or holding your hand over your mouth.

·        Speak at an adequate volume. But avoid shouting, which can distort your speech and may insult the person. Be careful to avoid reducing volume at the ends of your sentences.

·        Phrase ideas in different ways. Because some words are easier to lip-read than others, it often helps if you can rephrase your ideas in different words.

·        Avoid overlapping speech. In group situations only one person should speak at a time. Similarly, direct your comments to the person with hearing loss himself or herself; don’t talk to the person through a third party.

·        Ask for additional information. Ask the person if there is anything you can do to make it easier for him or her to understand you.

·        Don’t avoid common terms. Use terms like hear, listen, music, or deaf when they’re relevant to the conversation. Trying to avoid these common terms will make your speech sound artificial.

·        Use nonverbal cues. Nonverbals can help communicate your meaning; gestures indicating size or location and facial expressions indicating feelings are often helpful.

If you have impaired hearing:

·        Do your best to eliminate background noise. Reduce the distance between yourself and the person with a hearing impairment. Reduce background noise. Make sure the lighting is adequate.

·        Move closer to the speaker if this helps you hear better. Alert the speaker that this closer distance will help you hear better.

·        Ask for adjustments. If you feel the speaker can make adjustments, ask the speaker to repeat a message, to speak more slowly, or to increase volume.

·        Position yourself for best reception. If you hear better in one ear than another, position yourself accordingly and, if necessary, clue the speaker in to this fact.

·        Ask for additional cues. If necessary, ask the speaker to write down certain information, such as phone numbers or website addresses. Carrying a pad and pencil will prove helpful for this and in the event that you wish to write something down for others.

Careers in Communication

Here's an interesting post on 33 career paths in communication. Students should find this interesting.

Mentoring Dos and Don'ts Again

Just heard from Psychology Today that the article I mentioned in a July 1, 2011 post is now available online. Check it out; there's lots of useful insights.

Dear Abby and Politeness

On Sunday, "Dear Abby" had three letters all revolving around politeness, giving us three good but often abused rules:

1.      When bringing young children to another person’s home, watch them and make sure that they don’t damage anything.

2.      People need compliments not criticism; it’s impolite to criticize for no constructive purpose.

3.      When answering the door, for example, in receiving a package, hold your dog back—not everyone loves your dog, nor will your dog love everyone.